Of neuroses and saving graces

Have you ever wondered how apparent failure can sometimes be liberating? It makes you sit back and wonder what you were chasing in the first place. It fills you with a cold anger, and recharges you for the next surge. And this time, maybe you learn to adapt, to not rush headlong, or simply to be patient. And not let the outcome of something be the sole determinator or reflection of your life.


Sometimes, I feel like all of us are suffering from some neurosis, from which there is no relief. My first recollections of political conciousness are those of a need for more justice and equity. Growing up in a bipolar township where from a very early age servant quarter’s and “outhouses” gave us, the blessed ones, windows into the other India, I grew increasingly angry about the disadvantages some individuals start out with and the vectors thier lives take as a result. Some of the boys I have played with, some of the daughters who worked part time in our house.

But the world isn’t Gotham City, and my naive reductions of crime & deviance being either a result of economic and social disadvantages or childhood abuse have not endured. I am now mostly left dazed. By the sheer ferocity and complexity of the issues the world faces today.

I feel it is all going to implode very soon, and the cacaphony of jingoistic and alarmist media all around doesn’t help. I don’t even know what exapmle to cite or what to talk about anymore.

The world has gone mad. And there are no saving graces, except individual lives and joys, escapes into children, films about love and longing, or books about God.

6 responses to “Of neuroses and saving graces”

  1. your first paragraph.. i should read it once in a while.. 🙂

    btw.. which book about god are you reading? do suggest..

  2. well, am sorry to intrude but cudnt help. please read rawlsian justice, even in the vein of ignorance there stays scopes for innumerable injustices; i must say one thing here that there are a number of times we have done injustice ourselves, some chosen by us and some unavoidable; what i personally perceive is if we do justice to ourself then only we deserve the right to critise the injustices all around us. Or I might be here so selfish not to bother about the disparity. Bridges would be of no use sans gaps, silences would be not worth without words!
    take care,

    • Hey Shayani,

      Thank you for dropping by again. 🙂 I personally believe justice in one context cannot be compared with another and therefore I disagree I am not in a position to speak out or of injustice if I have committed some other injustice at some point of time.

      For e.g. I may deliberately hurt someone. Or I may intend to. That will not change the fact that hurting someone in the way I did is tantamount to injustice in some form. The social contract is not valid only if the makers of the contract are completely just. We almost never do justice to ourselves. And since I am an agent for myself and not just a passive object, I am pretty sure the “i” changes often enough for the definitions of justice to myself constantly changing.

      However, my opinion on something being unjust is completely up for debate however, I do not for a minute doubt or question.

      • thanks Kanishk, just missed out the context part. I agree with you. The social contract was never just; like the veil of ignorance and that is the reason why I asked u to read the same. However, I still stick to my opinion that until and unless we do justice to ourselve we dotn have the right to question of “injustice” or “justice” to others. Different pockets of life requires different level of justice, so even I do not have the rt to question any pockets as I doubt the degree of justice showered on me from own sphere.

        Nyway take care,

  3. i share your fears and they overwhelm…
    but the hope is that we will not be alone with the fears, we will have each other… like the lizard that crowds my brain … like the caller that lurks in your hometown… we will somehow see it through … together

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